Are you competitive? I sure am. To say that I am competitive is an understatement. Like many people, I like to win when I am playing games. There is a word used a lot when we are about to play a game: strategy. We hear it all the time. What is the strategy to win this game? There are variations of the same word:
- How can I win?
- Can you explain the rules so that I know what to do?
- How do you play and win?
Basically, every time you ask for a way to get a competitive advantage over others in called a strategy. Strategy is a way of doing things so that you can successfully compete and if done well come ahead most of the time. Let’s apply it to our lives as well, shall we?
This way of doing things is called problem-solving. Once understood, these simple words “problem-solving” can rock your personal life. If I showed you the road map to get where you want to go would you take it? That is what problem-solving is all about. It involves steps taken in an orderly way to arrive at the desired destination. It is straightforward forward involving four stages:
1. Identify the problem
This is the most essential stage because if you don’t know the problem then it will be very hard to change it. Actually, it is impossible to change if you do not know what needs to be changed. To do this, first, pick a simple problem to solve and a similar technique can be used with bigger problems.
Let’s say you struggle to read an entire book or you don’t read books at all; you would like to do it but you don’t have time. First, we need to identify the problem here. What would be the problem? It is important that how you phrase your problem will determine if you get to the solution or not. If you said that I cannot read, I hate reading, I do not have the time or anything conveying the idea of inability (I cannot). These statements make it very difficult to change. Saying that I cannot really implies that your problem is too great or impossible to change. Instead, you can call the problem as “how can I start to read?” This is the goal you want.
Now, this changes everything. Instead of saying to yourself, “life is very stressful”, “I wish I can read”, or “I will start when things get less stressful” just say, “how can I read?”. You are already reading this article which means you read and probably like reading already.
Identifying the problem solves a lot of the worry and confusion you feel when you do not know where to start. Please start at this stage always. This stage alone should solve 60% of the entire process because the computer between your ears will get to work in the next stage.
If you are struggling to identify and define the problem then the following tips can assist you:
- Write down the things you think are the problem. I recommend you use the keywords in the problem
- For example: Read, time, don’t
- Get away from the problem for a bit and come back to it with fresh thinking
- Find someone you know who could help you think of the main issue
- You need to be very honest most of the time. You know what the problem is and fear is holding you back. Just go with your gut.
2. Let your brain do the magic: Think of as many solutions as your mind can come up with
Let your brain wander thinking about possible solutions to your problem. As your brain wanders keep the problem in sight so that you do not lose focus (which can be easily done sometimes). Let’s say you come up with the following solution: I will take on fewer commitments so that I can find time to read. But the problem with this solution is …… PAUSE! There is no need for “but” at this stage. Only think of possible solutions. It does not matter how crazy the solutions seem to you. You have to write all your thoughts down. PLEASE DO NOT TALK YOURSELF OUT OF ANY SOLUTION THAT THE BRAIN IS GENERATING AT THIS STAGE.
This is how I would approach this problem:
Problem: How Can I start Reading?
Some feasible solutions:
- Take some hours from something else. eg Watching TV
- Read only books that I enjoy
- Read small books or books of less than 250 pages (I recommend this to get going if this is your problem)
- Take a book everywhere I go (very possibly on your phone)
- Make a reading location in my home
- Go to the library without a phone
- Audiobooks
- Read summaries of books
- Read several books at once
- Find a reading buddy
- Get recommendations for books to read
- Tell others what you read
- Pick a similar time to read each time
- Go to second-hand stores and buy inexpensive books
- Stop if you do not like the book
- Start now (literally, grab any book where you are and read for 5 minutes)
3. Make a decision: Choose one of the solutions
Review the list of possible solutions by comparing them, finding which one best fits what you want, and picking one to start to act on. It is also important to eliminate those that you think are not feasible based on what you want to accomplish. In the list above I would eliminate #9: reading several books at once. This could work for some people but not really when you are starting. It is an easy target for feeling overwhelmed. You certainly do not need to feel very overwhelmed when you are trying to start your reading journey.
4. DO! Put Ideation into Action
This is where you are going to get your now-chosen idea and put it into practice. You move from “I should do ABC” to doing it.
The important point to keep in mind while doing
- Focus on one problem at a time. If you try to be a superhero and want to start reading while simultaneously, want to meditate, start a business, finish writing your book, and learn guitar and Spanish simultaneously, it is not a good idea. Most problems are best solved when you focus on one. For instance, by just starting to read (instead of saying I also need to reduce TV watching hours) the fact that you are reading automatically reduces the hours of TV watching. If your reading doesn’t reduce your hours of TV watching, it will reduce your hours in another category. So, pick one solution, get that one going, and ensure it works for some time.
- There is only one person you can change and that is you. If what you are trying to change involves others brace yourself for massive failure. You can only influence people but cannot change them if they are unwilling. So focus on yourself.
- Do not change what cannot be changed. I have tried this and failed and you probably have as well. I tried to change the Canadian weather and you can guess how that one went. You cannot change the fact that someone has an incurable disease but you could change how you react to the facts.
- Never give up. If what you have tried has failed do not say I have tried everything because that is not true. You cannot test everything because you do not know all the possibilities. Maybe you could pause for a while (a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a year, five years!) but do not give up on what you genuinely know needs change.
So what is your problem? please reply or comment below and I can assist you with generating ideas.